Fade into a dream….

My weight, as of Sunday, is 206 lbs. Which means I’m down 3 lbs in 2 weeks. I’ll take it. It’s better than a gain, right?

I went to the doctor on Tuesday to talk about the results of my recent bloodwork and she had quite a bit to say. First of all, my thyroid level was a little off, but not by much. However, she said since I’ve been complaining of the low energy, she decided to increase my thyroid medicine. She also said that my Vitamin D is a little low, so she wants me to start taking the supplements again. And finally, my cholesterol is about 30 points higher than it was in January. Meaning that I need to work on my cholesterol level. She said eating better and moving more will help that. And it makes sense, because since January I have been going out to eat more with my boyfriend. So maybe not always eating the healthiest things.

I’m really hoping that the new thyroid dosage helps my energy levels since I’m always so tired and don’t feel like working out. But it’ll take a few weeks to see any changes.

Today, Lola (my 12 yr old) and I did go walking, only 1.12 miles, but hey, you gotta (re)start somewhere, right? Hopefully we’ll make it a daily thing and increase our mileage as we go. She wants to do the Wicked 10k with me on October 31st, so we have a few months to get ourselves up to 6 miles at a time.

My weight this morning was 207 lbs. So, nothing has really changed. I have given up soda, but not the sweet tea. Last time I made sweet tea, though, I put a little less sugar in it, so that’s good at least. I can gradually get used to less and less sugar, maybe that will help.

Moving is not fun. Getting ready and organized and going through things makes me crazy! I so wish to be one of those “minimalists” who can live simply, without so much stuff, but somehow, there are some things I just can’t let go of. I’m not a hoarder, I don’t think, and if I am, I’m a clean and organized one. I just feel like I have a lot of stuff.

We have two more weeks until we officially move and live full-time in Virginia Beach. I can’t wait until this moving this is over with! It’s exhausting!

I haven’t really done much exercising this week. I’ve been so tired! I went and had bloodwork redone last Friday and I go back to the doctor tomorrow to talk to her about my results, so we’ll see what happens. I’m trying to at least stay active, doing things in the house, cleaning, organizing, etc. I’m still in the habit of making my bed everyday. Build one habit and then add on others, right? Next habit to start is walking daily!

It’s been well over a year since I’ve posted here and I haven’t just forgotten about you all. I just haven’t been doing well and really didn’t want to complain about it. Maybe I didn’t want to really face up to it. Who knows. Last time I weighed in, last Monday, I was 209. Definitely not my highest (which was 236+) but I’m still so very far from where I want to be.

I have done at least 3 races since my last post. In October of 2014, I did the Crawlin Crab weekend (the 5k on Saturday, half marathon on Sunday) and then the Shamrock Half Marathon in March. The Crawlin Crab was my best time so far (3:28:43), but I didn’t train very much from October to March, and I gained weight and ended up having my slowest time at Shamrock (3:44:02). But I finished the race, which I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to, so I guess that’s something.

I haven’t signed up for anymore races yet, honestly because I know I have so much more to work on before I can get seriously ready for doing another race. I need to work on my life. And mainly, I need to work on my weight. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, almost a lifelong battle, and it’s something that’s keeping me back from living the way I want. Technically, I’m morbidly obese, and at 5’1, 209 lbs is not good for my body. Hell, it’s not good for anyone’s body, except maybe a linebacker.

My life, especially the past year or so, has been up and down, lots of stress, lots of drama. It’s heading in a better direction now, being in a good relationship, my daughter Lola and I in the process of moving in with my boyfriend in a nice area with good schools. Being able to really have a fresh start with everything. I’m getting into a better place now. So, why is it still so hard for me to lose this weight? I have wondered if it’s the medications I’m on, but I’m not making that an excuse. The medications I’m on for Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and ADHD are what’s keeping me somewhat sane.

I think maybe I’ve just given up. I don’t exercise much anymore, I eat pretty much whatever I want, but not in excess. My boyfriend Chris and I order out or go out to dinner quite a bit, and I get dessert most of the time. I started drinking soda again, not much, but occasionally. And, of course, I haven’t given up my sweet tea.

So, I have a decision to make. Cutting sugar out of my diet seems to be the first step to changing my weight and getting healthier. But can I give it up all at once? I probably could, but I’m not going to. I am going to spend the next 2 weeks going without soda or sweet tea. Man, it’s going to be hard. I LOVE my sweet tea. But I want to see how I feel without it. I want to see if I notice a difference in my energy, health, and weight. I’m sure most of you will say it’d be more effective if I went without it longer than that, but this is me getting my feet wet. One thing at a time.

I really want to change my life and be healthier and in better shape. I don’t want to turn 33 in November and still be this way. So I guess it’s time to get to work!