Archive for July 2012
So, every plan like this needs goals. Long term goals and short term goals. Coming up with the long term goals were simple. My goal weight has always been 119 and the goal, of course, is to run in the Shamrock Half Marathon.
My problem now is what are my short term goals. I have no idea. I’m having trouble coming up with them. This shouldn’t be so hard.
As tomorrow will be officially 33 weeks until the Shamrock Half Marathon starts, so begins training season officially for me! Intense training! I’m not only preparing for my first half marathon, which I have a lot of work cut out for me, but I have (as of this morning) 66 lbs to lose until I reach my goal weight, my chosen time to reach this goal weight would be, you guessed it, the same time as my half marathon.
Am I putting a lot of pressure on myself? Maybe. I’ve set goals for myself before and failed. It’s disappointing. But I’ve set goals for myself that I should have achieved. Goals that were attainable, had I just put forth the effort and not given up so easily as I tend to do when I get bored or run into an issue. This is a true test. And I want to stick to it. I’m very determined to stick to it.
In the past week I have gotten up before 5 o clock in the morning twice to go running which I’ve never done before in my life. Those who know me should know that’s a sign that things are changing in me.
So, I’ll be getting up again early tomorrow to go running again…time to work it out!
Yesterday was the 26th. So exactly 4 months from yesterday, I’ll be 30 years old. Yep, it’s the final countdown…*cue Europe singing in the background*
So, those close to me knows I’ve been going in and out of a quarter life crisis. This finding myself, losing myself, finding myself battle, going back and forth. It’s exhausting. It really is. After talking with some friends, I find that I’m not the only one who’s gone through this quarter life crisis, so I’m in good company, really. But they’ve already gone through it. How do I get through it? My situation is a bit different.
Along with that, I was reading a book I got from the library yesterday by Bob Greene called “The Life You Want”. He talks about how losing weight isn’t just physical. It’s also an emotional, psychological process. It really does take a lot more than just “workout and don’t eat junk”. Especially if you want to stick with it.
There are so many things in my life I can’t control and that’s frustrating. And it’s not just trying to make my body do things it’s not ready to do. It’s certain people in my life and how they act and how they treat me. It’s being able to do things like get a job. You can only put in the applications and resumes. You can’t make a company give you a job. You can’t control a 9 year old, no matter how much bribing and pleading you do with her. You just can’t control many situations in life. You just have to control how you react to them and hope it all works out for the best. And worry about the things you can control.
I’m probably going to start getting a little more personal with my writing. Mom Is Gonna Run isn’t just about running anymore. It’s about so much more than that.
I’ve never been one for waking up early in the morning and working out. I read books and articles about women who get up at insane hours to go running and think “wow, they must be dedicated.”
Yesterday, I had an appointment in the morning and then other things to do in the afternoon so I wouldn’t have had time to work out. So, the night before, I decided I was going to be one of those women and wake up at an insane hour and go for a run, too.
And now…I totally see why they do it!
It’s a lot cooler out at 5 a.m. And a lot more peaceful. I loved it. While I don’t think I’ll do it every morning, I do think I’ll do it more often. It’s definitely something I’ll be doing once I get a job, too.
It’s nice to change your habits sometimes. Introduce little things into your daily life. Yesterday I felt so energized despite how early I got up. It was great.
So, the kick in the butt, registering myself for another 5k that’s NOW in less than 2 weeks is just what I needed. I’ve worked out every single day, pushed myself. Actually, I’ve pushed myself to the point of frustration. I’m trying to make my body do things it’s just not ready to do.
Over the past few days, especially yesterday, I’ve been thinking, and I’ve come to the realization that yes, technically I AM a runner. Because everyone says, once you start running, you are a runner. It’s in me now. No going back. I have the desire. But am I a full on runner? No. Do I know exactly what I’m doing? Oh, definitely not. I have a lot of work to do. I sometimes mix a little running in there. But it’s mostly jogging and walking. But that’s okay. For me. For right now. Because that’s what my body is ready for. And I need to learn to accept that.
I shouldn’t be angry with myself. I shouldn’t be beating myself up. I should let my body go at it’s own pace. Do what it’s ready to do when it’s ready to do it. Yes, I need to push myself. But not too far. Because pushing myself too far WILL result in injury and sideline me. And then I’ll REALLY be mad at myself. And I’ll have every right to be. It will be all my fault.
So, I’ve decided that I’m not going to participate in the Crawlin’ Crab Half Marathon in October. I will probably do the 5k, but not the half marathon. I won’t be able to get prepared in time. And for my first half marathon, I WANT to be prepared. I want to be ready. I want my body to be ready. I want to go in knowing 100% that I can do it.
I also want my half marathon to be a special event. And with that being said, my first race ever was the Shamrock 8k in March of this year. Well, I’ve decided to keep the theme going and so, my first half marathon will be the Shamrock Half Marathon in March 2013. That’s right, I have less than 8 months to train for my first half marathon. That should be enough time to lose this weight, get in shape, and prepare myself for 13.1 miles. And no slacking off. I need to do this. I need to do this for me.
I hope I have the support of all of my friends and family and anyone reading this. I could really use it right about now.
It’s been over a month since I’ve updated, very sad to say.
Can’t say things have been great. Can’t say they’ve been terrible either. Went on vacation to the Outer Banks. That was fun. And that was the highlight of the past month.
Everything else has been…eh. I’ve been slacking off pretty bad on my workouts. I haven’t been to the trail at all since Lola got out of school a month ago. I’ve barely used the treadmill. I’ve hit the pavement once. Just once. And that was 4 miles. I seemed to have lost motivation.
Yesterday, I gave myself a kick in the butt. I registered for a 5k that’s on August 4th. That’s right, only 2.5 weeks away. So, in order to not make a complete fool of myself, I need to step up my diet, step up my training and work my butt off so I can beat my last 5k time of 44:55.
I do have some rather good news. There’s a program called “Girls On The Run”. It’s for young girls, to help build character and self esteem, through running. Lola and I are starting a chapter at her school this year. Or are going to try. We have to talk to the school first. But Lola is so excited. She can’t wait to start. She actually wants to start training now. And since I’m helping to get it up and going, if I’m interested in becoming a coach, they will train me to do so. Pretty awesome. It’ll be so good for her!
I’m still going through my sort of quarter life crisis, but I’m working through it. It’s going to take some time I guess. Have a lot of things to take care of. But hopefully, everything will turn out well in the end.